The Transgender ChildeBook - 2008
This comprehensive first of its kind guidebook explores the unique challenges that thousands of families face every day raising their children in every city and state. Through extensive research and interviews, as well as years of experience working in the field, the authors cover gender variance from birth through college. What do you do when your toddler daughter’s first sentence is that she’s a boy? What will happen when your preschool son insists on wearing a dress to school? Is this ever just a phase? How can you explain this to your neighbors and family? How can parents advocate for their children in elementary schools? What are the current laws on the rights of transgender children? What do doctors specializing in gender variant children recommend? What do the therapists say? What advice do other families who have trans kids have? What about hormone blockers and surgery? What issues should your college-bound trans child be thinking about when selecting a school? How can I best raise my gender variant or transgender child with love and compassion, even when I barely understand the issues ahead of us? And what is gender, anyway? These questions and more are answered in this book offering a deeper understanding of gender variant and transgender children and teens.
From the critics
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"When a significantly gender-variant or transgendered child or teen has touched your life, you come to understand very quickly that it is your beliefs that must change, not this child."
"At our school we recognize that every human has the right to decide who they are--it is not within anyone else's power to decide for another who they are."
...it can be even more difficult to try to figure out how to share this with extended family members. Its important to realize they even In the most loving of families, people need time to change long-held beliefs. So while it may see tempting to try to hide this aspect of their child until it's all figured out, this approach will not necessarily serve you. Other people I your life may need time to come along this journey with you...[they] deserve he tie to adjust to the ideas you are presenting---afford them that opportunity...even if you need their immediate love and support.
"There are ways to encourage the desired responses from your family members. One again, this has to do with your delivery and what it is you are asking for. Most people, when told what they are being asked to do, respond withy that in mind. If you do not offer them guidance, it becomes more of a free-for-all, and you decrease the likelihood of getting the response you want
"Most decisions will be made on the fly. Sometimes you will make choices that feel good, and sometimes you will end up having made a choice that does not feel good. That is all too often how we learn."
"We are attached to her being herself. We hope for her to always feel loved and supported by us."
"Perhaps the most painful part of the process of accepting your child is letting go of the fantasies you held for your child--and also the fantasies of what you were going to share together in the future...Parents face reworking their dreams for their children."
"It should be noted that lesbian and gay parents do not necessarily feel more at ease raising a gender-variant or transgender child."
"...believe[d] that a person's core identity has 3 major components...set in place during childhood by age 6, and then revisted as a teenager...Gender identity, Gender Performance and Sexual Orientation."
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